Disney Marathon 2000 Report
by Charles Cohn
At Disney World we stayed in our camper at the Fort Wilderness
campground, as we had in the past. We arrived on Thursday, so we
had time for a visit to the Magic Kingdom, which we hadn't seen
for a number of years. We visited only one park because the high
ticket prices made it worthwhile to go only when we could spend a
lot of time. (The ticket prices don't seem so far out of
proportion, though, when compared to the costs of theater, opera,
or rock-concert tickets nowadays.)
The expo was excellent, much larger than in previous years. A
local hospital was offering free gait analyses in which you would
be videotaped walking or running on a treadmill and a phyical
therapist would discuss the results with you.
I bought two pairs of RaceReady shorts. Because of their
convenient pockets, I was tempted to wear them for the marathon,
but I resisted because I knew I had to try them in training
first. As it turned out, it was a good thing I didn't wear them,
as will become apparent later.
One improvement we made in our living conditions was to bring a
microwave oven, set it on the picnic table and plug it into the
electricity that was provided That way, we could fix many of our
meals ourselves, eating our accustomed cuisine. (That's roughing
it smoothly, I think.)
Just like last year, race day began for me at 2:30 am. I got up,
vaselined my hairy, sweaty places and got dressed. By 3 I was
walking to the bus stop, eating my Power Bar. By 4 I arrived at
the starting area, checked my bag, and went into the staging area
to wait.
At 5 I followed the crowd on the long trek to the start area. I
found my proper corral and entered it. Since I was early, I was
able to move to the front of the corral, where I waited as the
crowds gathered.
Just before 6 am the barriers between corrals came down. The pack
began to move forward to close up the gaps. Sonorous drumming,
followed by a resounding proclamation about the millennium, led
up to the start, marked by a burst of fireworks.
As the pack moved forward, some gaps opened ahead of me and I was
able to slide up. Thus, I reached the start line in just 5
minutes. People were passing me right and left, so I may have
been further up than I should have been, but I make no apology --
since awards were given on gun time, I was on the clock right
from the start.
Mile 1 went in 13:12. I missed the marker for mile 2, so that
and mile 3 went by in 27:54, while I took my first GU packet at
the water stop. In that mile, the course went a short way
through Epcot, where I could enjoy Disney's fancy lighting
effects as day was slowly breaking.
Mile 4 went in 13:38, mile 5 in 13:24 as I was slowed by taking
another GU at the water stop, and mile 6 in 13:02 as the course
looped around Epcot Drive. Then the course turned north toward
the Magic Kingdom as mile 7 went in 13:04, mile 8 in 12:59, mile
9 in 12:56 and mile 10 in 13:10.
Mile 11 went through the Magic Kingdom, giving an extensive view.
I must have been very distracted, because I fumbled my watch
operation and didn't get a time for this mile. Furthermore, I
got a bent-knee call from a judge, so I knew I had to sharpen up
and pay attention. So far as I know, I didn't get any more
calls.
Then the course headed south. Mile 12 took 12:53 and mile 13
took 12:46. In mile 14, which took 13:03, the half-marathon
runners left and headed toward their own finish, so the course
got a lot less crowded.
In mile 15, which took 13:12, I passed a fellow who had a box
strapped on his back. A cable led to an antenna on top of his
head, and a tube led to a needle in his wrist. I asked him what
it was. He told me that it was a research project for South
Florida University to study changes in blood composition as the
marathon proceeded.
The course continued south, with mile 16 taking 13:12. Mile 17,
which took 13:03, passed through the new Animal Kingdom park.
This looked a lot more impressive to me than it did last year,
when the park was new. The tropical vegetation had a year to
grow, and now it was really lush and beautiful.
Mile 18 took 12:52. Now the course turned east along Osceola
Parkway toward the Wide World of Sports, with mile 19 taking
12:50 and mile 20 taking 13:20, where I took another GU packet.
The course then turned south on the entrance road to the sports
complex. Making a turnaround over a sensor pad, which presumably
was put there to catch shortcutters, the course returned to the
parkway and then west, with mile 21 taking 13:07. On this out-
and-back portion, I enjoyed seeing the long line of runners that
were behind me, as far as the eye could see.
In mile 22, which took 13:01, the course turned north on the main
road. In mile 23, which took 13:35, it went toward the Disney-
MGM Studios, the last park on the tour. Mile 24, which also took
13:35, went through the park. On leaving the park, I was pleased
to see that the plastic mats over the grass that I had to waddle
across the last two years were no longer there.
In mile 25, which took 13:31, the course went toward Epcot on a
sidewalk along a lake. Mile 26 went all the way around Epcot's
World Showcase. I tried to step up the speed a bit and managed
to get through in 12:57.
The final 0.2 mile, which took me 2:44, went out of Epcot and
into the finish area in the parking lot. My net finish time was
5:45:26. This was my 18th marathon finish, a PR by three seconds, 17
minutes faster than last year and 35 minutes faster than two years ago. It
got me my first marathon age-group prize, 3rd in M60-69 racewalkers.
One of the major contributors to that improvement was changing my
approach to urination. Last year I took four pee stops. This
time, since I firmly believe that a truly dedicated competitor
should pee in his pants rather than lose time taking a pee stop,
I let the pressure build in my bladder, until, in mile 23, my
body took control and released the flow. Waves of relief swept
over me as the warm fluid poured out and dribbled down. Since I
was wearing Coolmax underpants and nylon shorts, which shed
moisture, I did not have to suffer a soggy crotch. Furthermore,
nobody tried to shove me into a nursing home because it looked
like I had lost my toilet training. In fact, nobody even
noticed.
That's why I'm glad I didn't wear my new shorts. No permanent
damage would have been done; they would have washed out readily;
but I still would have hated to christen them on the first
wearing.
Charles Cohn
chasmagc@bellsouth.net
"Live forever or die trying"
Courtesy of About and The New York Times Inc.
